I lost 9 lbs in May after I did the 21 day Virgin Diet. And then in July I my size 12 pants were loose. As I sit here today, December 29, 2015, my size 12 pants are a little tight so I guess that means I may have gained some back but yet I have a huge smile on my face and here’s why:
- I found a great nutritionist. This year I worked with a nutritionist, my third to be exact but you know what they say : third times the charm and I think their right. I learned a lot from her and our work together, a lot of which I plan to share in future posts but today I’ll share just a few that really helped me turn a corner. We worked a lot on turning my focus away from the scale. I had already been working on this a bit with the previous nutritionist but I was still weighing in. This year – I only weighed myself once in January and I haven’t looked at a scale since. In fact, I got weighed two more times – once at the end of my bootcamp and 21 day Virgin Diet so that I could see how much body fat I lost and again at my annual gynecological exam but both times I succeeded in not looking at the actual number. Huge improvement for me. And the second biggest thing was that she got me to eat more meals at the dining room table so that I can acknowledge all of the food I am consuming and have less mindless eating.
- I read what I think is the most important book of my weight loss journey – A Course In Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Williamson, Marianne 1st (first) Edition (11/2/2010). This year was my third attempt at finishing the lessons in this book and I finally did it. The lessons in this book are emotionally taxing and they were very hard for me to do. The book asks you to do things like: write a letter from your “fat self” to your “thin self” acknowledging your feelings so that the two parts of you can heal and become one. The book makes you look at your past and who you might have to forgive to allow yourself to heal. The book centers around the idea that food is just your drug of choice and you are only overeating our of fear. Fear of living your truest most full life. I really felt like it helped me break down a lot of walls that I have built up to protect myself from myself. And I feel less afraid and much more open to the world as a result. I feel like I can let love in and release myself from the cage I was in that I built up with fat. Fat was a shield of sorts. (Stay tuned for future posts on this as well)
- I started dressing better. This was huge. For years and years, I have been dressing down in an effort to hide myself so that people wouldn’t see me. And I would always say that I would dress better when I lost the weight. But all around me everyday, women of all shapes and sizes, some much larger than me, are out there being their most beautiful selves. And this year I decided to join them. I started wearing dresses and skirts and heels, and more color. I stopped wearing black pants every day like I’m going to a funeral and I started highlighting my assets. I have a long long way to go in this department but I feel great about what I’ve done so far and I look forward to improving even more. I am no longer waiting for that perfect moment when the scale meets my expectations. I’m living full out, today, now – in this moment.
- I started this blog. This blog has helped me so much this year. It has been a place that I can share what I’m going through which I hope it helping someone out there with what they are going through. I am slowly building a community and I am excited to see it grow even bigger in 2016.
- While I wasn’t perfect, I journaled more than I have since 2010 (which was the last time I did Weight Watchers and the last time I lost 30 lbs). I started the year off using Fitbit and I then I switched to good old fashioned paper and pen and then I started using MyFitnessPal. One of my focuses for 2016 is to pick it back up because journaling is definitely a key component to my weight loss success.
- I stopped my “double workouts” obsession. I stopped doing two workouts a day and more importantly I stopped doing them in direct correlation with overeating. For years I had convinced myself that I could “out-exercise” my eating and lose weight as a result and that has led to nothing but sadness and frustration. This year I really worked on dispelling that myth for myself and focusing instead on eating the appropriate portions. And best of all, even when I did overeat, I didn’t rush to the treadmill to try to fix it. I just accepted it and moved on to the next day. This has been a huge change for me this year.
- While I didn’t do double workouts, I stayed extremely consistent with exercising hard for 30-40 minutes every day and giving myself the prescribed day off.
- I learned to enjoy my day off! Right up the with double workouts was my inability to take a day off from exercise unless I was sick or injured and even then it was debatable. This year ends with me not only taking one day off per week but I can honestly say I enjoy it.
- Most importantly – I stopped beating myself up. I worked really hard on positive affirmations and positive thoughts. Since June I’ve instituted my Miracle Morning Routine and during that period I fill my head up with positive goals for the day and positive beliefs about the kind of person I am and the kind of person I want to be. It has really worked and I find myself more and more forgiving and accepting of my imperfections. I’m finally getting it through my head that negative self blame does nothing to help the cause and in fact deters me even further from my goals. Only through self love can I achieve the optimal health I desire. (Sign up for my email list to get a copy of my daily affirmations!)
My favorite “healthy moment” this year was:
Wearing a red skirt this summer with high heels. Well, high heels for me anyway. 🙂 And a strong second was wearing a red dress this winter. This outfit represented my new self. The Me that does not hide in the shadows. The Me that stands in the light, brave and beautiful and excited for the future.
My favorite behavioral change:
Sitting at the dining room table to eat all my meals. This, as with everything, is a work in progress but I think it represents the way I want to live. The mindful eating that results from sitting at a beautifully set table feeds right into the healthy image I have for myself.
My most powerful thought about 2015. This year I signed up for a goal setting program called “5 Days to Your Best Year Ever”. With plans to start trying to start a family sometime next year, I am more determined than I’ve ever been to meet my goals for 2016 and losing the weight is at the top of this list. So I thought I needed a little extra reinforcement when it came to preparing for the year to come. During this program, you are asked to reflect on the past so that you don’t carry any negativity or regrets with you in tot the future. To that end, I was asked to summarize how I felt about the year and I came to this realization:
I feel like all year it’s been me standing here with this iceberg between me and my goals. And I’ve been slowly chipping away at the iceberg all year long (in some ways all life long) and now come December 2015, I am so close that it’s like I’m at that last thinnest layer of ice and my goals are right there but the year has run out. But if I just keep chipping away, keep up with these good behaviors, I’m so close and I’ll chip right through and reach goal.
The thing that drives me crazy about losing weight, and I’m sure all of you can agree, is that this is one of the few goals that is not really a choice. I’m tired of always putting this goal on my resolution list in some facet or another. I’m tired of missing the mark year after year. And yet I can’t just stop. I can’t give up. When you are not at your healthiest self, and you are not at your bodies ideal weight, you have no choice but to keep working at it because if you don’t you will backslide the other way. Your body wont’ just stay put at that current level of unhealthiness or overweight state. It doesn’t work that way. You’ll go up or you’ll go down but you wont’ stay the same. You can only stay the same once you’ve reached your ideal. And that’s the frustrating thing about it.
So, we must push on and we must believe that the iceberg is indeed smaller from all of our hard work of 2015 and 2016 is our year. I believe it’s my year because it has never been more important for me to reach my goal as it is right now.
For my parting words of 2016, I’d like to share an awesome quote that was shared with me in my Facebook Weightloss Group. It’s from Joel Osteen,
“You may not be where you want to be, but you can thank God, you’re not where you used to be. You’re growing, you’re improving, you’re coming up higher. Don’t go around down on yourself, focused on how far you have to go. Celebrate where you are. Thank God for where He’s brought you.”
Celebrate and get ready for an awesome 2016! Thank you for supporting me in my journey and allowing me to support you in yours. Happy New Year!
With Love and Support,