BODY REVOLUTION (DAY 52 AND 53, OCTOBER 30 AND 31, 2015)
Let me start by saying that my food list for both these days is going to be very long. So right off the bat, you know we have a problem.
What can I say? On Friday I was feeling very antsy in anticipation of a big volunteer planting day that I was orchestrating for Saturday morning. I’ve basically been leading up to this for the past six months. This project was my capstone project for the end of a class I was in – a community environmental stewardship program. The completion of this project marks the completion of my year-long program. Needless to say I was very relieved that it was coming to an end but also very nervous about it all going well.
Add to this that I have not been getting a lot of sleep. Did you now that sleep deprivation can make you overeat? Crazy, right? But basically, I think that it is safe for all overeaters to assume that when anything is off in your life – any of your basic necessities, you are more susceptible than other people to use food to try to “fix” that emptiness you feel from the deprivation of whatever it is you’re missing that actually has nothing to do with food. So, try to beware of that tendency in yourself.
Anyway, last night I totally fell victim to my anxiety and my lack of sleep and as soon as I got home I ate and ate and ate. Nothing I ate was “bad for you” but that’s rarely the issue anyway. It was simply more food than I needed and took me past satisfied to “full”. I wouldn’t say I got to the point of “stuffed” which is good but I definitely was full I didn’t add on any additional exercise to make up for it. I simply said a little prayer asking God to help me through it and I went to bed.
Today, the volunteer project went off without a hitch. People showed up, we all worked hard and we were done an hour earlier than planned. It was awesome. I was so happy. And being the self-proclaimed bad-ass that I am, as soon as I got back home I did my Workout 8 from Body Revolution. That’s right. After 3 hours of gardening , digging, and planting trees and mulching – I said to myself, you know what I need to do? I need to get in some self torture with Jillian Michaels. That’s what I need in my life right now. 🙂 So I did. And I’m happy I did. But that did not stop me from eating randomly afterwards.
Or in all truth, even before. I started the day off right and I had eggs and avocado but I skipped the turkey bacon because I didn’t feel like cooking it and I wanted to be quick. But afterward – I ate 3 munchkins from the snacks I bought for the project. I got people to take away the donuts but they left me with the munchkins and I had one there at the site an two more when I got home before I through them out. So, first off, of course 3 munchkins is not the end of the world. But why did I feel compelled to eat them? I had pre-talked to myself and reminded myself that Dunkin Donuts is nothing special, they’re open every day of the year and they are located right around the corner and they are present at almost every office function I have and I never feel compelled to eat them. And yet……today I did. Why? Two reasons:
First, the easy one. When you are losing weight, if part of that involves denying yourself “treats” then the longer you go without them the more likely you are to fall prey to them unexpectedly. (say at a volunteer project on a Saturday morning.). One way to beat this is to allow yourself modest treats throughout your weight loss journey but work them into your overall calorie intake for the day. Remember your real problem, above all else, is overeating. Eating healthy helps you stay full longer and more satisfied but unhealthy food or “treats” is not the real enemy. The real issue is how much of it you eat. Focus on that.
Second thing and much more important. When you actually start succeeding at your goals, you are much more susceptible to self-sabotage, especially as you get closer to your goal. It is the fear of success you are falling prey too. I’ve spent a lot of time this year dissecting this issue and I know positively, without a doubt that this is a problem I have. So I said a prayer, reminding myself that I have nothing to be afraid of and that in order to create the life I really want I must show myself love and allow no room for fear in my life. Look out for another post on this post coming soon.
And with all that said about overeating, I still have some positive observations. Compared to the last 60 days, I didn’t do very well yesterday and today. But compared to longer terms – six months ago, all of 2014 and half of 2013 – I didn’t do too bad. Biggest win today – I went to a Mexican restaurant tonight and didn’t eat not one chip from the bottomless bowl they give you at the table. Not one. And I only had rice on one of the two fajitas I had to keep the calories lower. So, those a huge victory. And I threw that box of munchkins away keeping myself from eating any more. And after I ate all those “snacks” after my workout I just ate the meatloaf and didn’t try to make a “meal” of it. So that’s good too.
And most of all – I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m not saying bad things to myself an making myself feel like a loser. No. I’m asking God to help me make tomorrow a successful Sunday and I’m planning how I can succeed tomorrow. I am also making plans to protect myself in the upcoming week should I feel this ravenous sensation of sabotage again, which I”ll talk about tomorrow. And I’m blogging to you- my understanding friends so that I can get it all of my chest and not internalize it. So thank you for listening.
If you’re feeling a similar way, I’m here to listen to you as well. Let’s hear about your stories of slipping in the middle of success. Remember this: Failing does not make you a failure. Failing is part of the process of success. We fail, we learn, we make corrections, we keep moving forward. We will get there. We will.
Friday and Saturday’ s overeating looked like this:
Breakfast – 2 eggs; ¼ avocado; 2 slices of turkey bacon
Lunch – Panera Bread – Turkey Chilli; Trader Joe’s coconut cultured blueberry “yogurt’
Dinner – smoked chicken – (2 wings, 1 leg and some misc. white meat – 2 oz.); steamed broccoli; ¼ serving of Zoe’s Kitchen braised beans
Snacks – 2 tablespoons of hummus with olives and tomatoes; 2 cups of grapes; 1 handful of candied nuts
Tea with almond milk
Breakfast – 3 eggs; ¼ avocado; ½ cup of grapes
Lunch – meatloaf;
Snacks: pack of cashews (200 calories); 6 pieces of Laura’s wholesome oatmeal bites; 3 munchkins; 2 cups of coffee with almond milk; 2 cups of almond milk; 4 candied nuts; 2 coconut cultures yogurts each with 2 tablespoons of granola in them
Dinner – chicken fajitas – I didn’t eat the tortilla chips at the table! Yes!
Dessert – sorbet and tea ( hot and cold – I know weird, right?)