So what happens when you finally face your fear? You start living, that’s what.
I have news for you. Dieting , journaling our food, over-exercising, counting our points, obsessing over our weight- THAT IS NOT LIVING! At least not very well.
Think about how many hours of your life have been wasted obsessing over your weight. How many opportunities have you passed up because you claimed you needed to focus on your weight-loss? And how many times have you promised yourself that as soon as you got to your ideal weight you’d go after that dream?
My dream for this blog, FoodLoveMe/FoodLoveMe, is that I can stop all of you from obsessing over your weight and help you to start living your lives. I used to think that meant experimenting on myself and figuring out the best way to control emotional overeating and then teaching that to you. But now I realize that the goal is really more about helping you learn how to live full out and fill your lives with so much great shit that you simply don’t have room in your life for obsessing over your weight. And achieving this goal starts with first helping you to face your fear.
We have a finite amount of time on this earth and we have a finite amount of space in our brains. If we fill up our lives with other things that are truly worthy of obsessing over then we won’t have the space or time available to obsess about our weight.
I believe that we, overeaters, have one major thing in common. Fear. If you are an overeater like me, then you are most likely afraid to face your fear.
We all fear something
Often times we fear something that would make our lives better, possibly even great, and instead of facing it, we choose to hide behind our obsession of weight loss. We lie to ourselves and we say we aren’t afraid. We say we’re just busy and we have to focus on one thing and we are choosing to focus on weight loss because once we fix that it’ll be so much easier to chase our dreams. But that’s bullshit. And deep down you know it.
For years I told myself that I was waiting to start a family because I didn’t have enough money and I needed to work on myself more. But as the years went by and the money got better and I got better, those excuses seemed lame. And then I got a little closer to the truth and I said to myself, “well I need to lose weight because if I don’t lose weight before I get pregnant then I’ll never lose it and besides I need to be the healthiest I can be for the baby.” And although there was truth to that it wasn’t the real reason I was holding back.
I delayed getting pregnant because I was afraid.
I was afraid of the change but mostly I was afraid of entering a season of my life where you are supposed to gain weight. After a lifetime of trying to lose weight it seemed insane to me that I would purposely do something that encourages weight gain. How could I ever manage that? How could I embrace that?
Ironically though, I realized that in refusing to just face my fears and get pregnant, I was causing myself to gain weight anyway. Why? Because I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t living my full potential. I wasn’t going after what I really wanted which at this moment in my life was a family. And since I refused to face it, my body did what it does best, it compensated for that void in my life with food.
That’s what we, overeaters, do when we don’t want to face our fears – we eat. We eat to fill in the void. So in not facing our fears we are also sabotaging ourselves in the one area we have allowed ourselves to obsess over – weight loss.
But here’s the great thing. Once you face your fear and you start the journey to getting what you want, you will find your obsession over weightloss will lessen. You will have a new obsession – going after what you really want and conquering that fear. That new obsession will need room to grow and there won’t be room for your weight loss obsession.
And so there is our solution in a nutshell. The more you face your fear, and the more you vow to live your life full out, then the less space you will have in your lives to obsess over your weight. And slowly but surely, the obsession will go away entirely.
So, this past June – I got pregnant. Intentionally and purposefully. I faced my fear.
I decided that this better life I imagined for myself was more important than my pathetic obsession over weight loss. It was a scary choice but it was the brave choice. And you know what happened? In making that choice I got a little of my freedom back.
In the first trimester I actually lost some weight. And then as I started to gain a little, I didn’t freak out. I didn’t cry. And I didn’t “body shame” myself. I just accepted it. I changed my daily affirmations to fit this new season of my life. I thanked my body for allowing me that gift of life. Finally, I started making plans for the future.
And now it seems I’m a little too busy to worry about my weight quite as much.
I filled in a void and so there is less space for my weight loss obsession.
I am not cured but I am on my way. And I want you on your way too.
So what fears do you need to face? What voids are you leaving open? Let’s close them together. Leave a comment if you feel compelled to share.